It's snowing

Yay, it's snowing, it is unheard of for it to snow at this time of year here, it is madness! Shame my heating isn't working properly, I am sooo cold.

I had my appointment with my psychologist, I had so hoped to be able to tell her that I hadn't self harmed, but obviously I had failed at that target. I think she was pleased that I had only done it once, it is a major improvement. We skimmed over food, I avoided answering questions to do with that, I am very good at changing the subject! I guess today was not a day where I was in the mood for food talk.

We talked a lot about how I crave someone looking after me, the wanting I have to go back to being a child and to be taken care of, but this time around it being done properly. Maybe I don't want to be an adult, to be responsible for me, I want to have someone tell me it is all going to be OK, to stroke my hair and give me a kiss on my forehead. I want to be loved, like I should have been loved as a child.

But I can't have that can I? I am an adult, I am on my own, I am responsible for myself. I need to get over my wanting to be a child, I need to move on, only I can look out for myself.