Found a letter

Whilst sorting through all of my things packing to move I came across a letter, this letter is going to go to my next therapy session to be shown to my mother. She claims she doesn't see how I can have been ill for so long without her noticing. Well this letter was written in the beginning of 2006 and was written after I went to see a plastic surgeon, I convinced myself that I would be able to stop self harming if I had surgery to remove the scars I already had, at the time this seemed logical. I managed to get my GP to refer me to see a plastic surgeon after convincing her self harm was a thing of the past and was able to present an arm with just scars, no fresh wounds (I had started self harming on my feet). I saw a plastic surgeon and had all of my hopes pinned on him, I was almost delusional with my belief that getting rid of my scares would mean I would stop self harming. Any ways after a long wait of 6 months to see the plastic surgeon, I got my day. I remember the excitement leading up to this appointment, I even self harmed on the morning of the appointment. My friend took me, she had warned me that I shouldn't get to excited, but I was pinning everything on this appointment. He took one look at my scars and said they were probably as tidy as they were ever going to be and that there was nothing he could do to make them cosmetically better. He even congratulated me on how tidy I had made them (cheers). He left me devastated.

Any ways, he referred me to a service called the Outlook disfigurement support unit, they were a psychological service that help to teach you to live with scars after accidents etc. So I agreed, I have no idea why, but I guess maybe something inside me was finally accepting that maybe I needed help, as at this point I had still never had any professional mental health support.

So a 2 month wait later and my appointment with the clinical psychologist comes, again my friend takes me, I was bloody honest with this lady, the first time in my life I was truly honest, I didn't hold back. I regretted it though when at the end of my appointment she said she was going to break confidentiality as she was concerned for my health and safety. I begged her to not, but she went on about the duty of care blah blah blah. Confidentiality has always been a major thing for me and there she is, my first time ever opening up to anyone and she tells me she is going to break confidentiality.

So that is where the letter comes in, she wrote to the plastic surgeon and forwarded a copy to my GP, so as my Mother is calling me a liar then I am going to have to give her proof, I shouldn't have to, she should trust what I say, but she doesn't, so the letter is going to come in handy.

It reads as follows

12th January 2006

Mr T C****y
Consultant Plastic Surgeon
Frenchay Hospital

Dear Tom,

Further to your referral I met with Miss R*****t for assessment on the 9th January. As Miss R*****t and I discussed her difficulties, it became apparent that she is still using self-harm as a way of coping with her difficult feelings. She is drinking, sometimes quite extremely and could only remember one alcohol free day in the recent past.

Miss R*****t was reluctant for me to write back to you with any detail about the content of our discussion and I agreed to keep my letter short. However, I have said to her that I am concerned about her ability to manage emotionally and have asked her to consider going to her GP to discuss options for appropriate support. I think it is unlikely that she will do so and I have also given her a phone number for a self-help group for people who self injure.

I have not planned to see Miss R*****t again, as she is obviously not at the point where working specifically on her psychological management of her scars would be appropriate. I hope this is helpful.

Best Wishes

Dr Natty T*****l
Clinical Psychologist

So my Mother who claims that there is no way I could have been ill until 2008 can fuck off.