Up down up down

That is what my mood is like at the moment, my arms are a mess, actually a mess is an understatement, they are hideous. Food is going great, well great in my eyes, even though today is Friday and historically is the day I allow myself to binge, I didn't really fancy it, I have eaten a bit more today than all week, probably just shy of 1000 calories today, I have the strong urge to go back to 200 calories tomorrow and stick to that for a while, as it has been almost to easy to stick at about 400 all week. Sometimes I feel I need to feel the challenge and enjoy the discomfort of starving.

I had a appointment with my psychologist today, we have arranged for an appointment with my CMHT, my parents and my sister on Thursday. Scary business, also a bit humiliating that I need my younger sister and my parents involved in my care planning even though I am nearly 27 years old. I am hoping that this is going to be a very productive meeting though, it better bloody be with all of the stress it is going to cause me.

Bob has been a night mare and needed a trip to the vets, money I do not have, but at least I know he is ok, they have confirmed his latest problem is behavioural rather than medical. His behaviour team have written a new behaviour plan, I have to be really strict and follow it to the letter and hopefully this will get all of his behaviour under control as he is once again relying on me to take him to the toilet, is causing bold patches and
scabs on his face from scratching along with the usual stuff and it is all for attention. I will write in more detail about this in Bob and Bettys blog.

I  met up with someone I met on a ED support forum today, we walked our dogs in the woods at shear water. It was really lovely to meet her, we have a lot in common, have both been through periods of anorexia and bulimia. We chatted about all sorts and are definitely going to meet up again. Our dogs enjoyed it, Molly now has a boy friend! Both of our dogs have slept all afternoon from exhaustion. Molly isn't in my parents good books at the moment as she ran all the way home when my Mum let her off the lead at the park the other day and nearly got run over. She can be very strong minded at times!

Any ways, I am going to focus all of my energies this weekend on not self harming, my arms badly need to heal, could you all do me a favour and send your positive vibes my way, I am going to need them.