I am exhausted

I am exhausted, my body hurts, my mind hurts, I hurt all over. I am so tired of trying so hard all of the time, I never get any where, I always end up back of the beginning, maybe my life is on a repeat.

I want to be well for my family and friends, I want to be able to do it for them. I do not want to be responsible for so much worry and pain all of the time. My family are going on holiday next week and I want them to go away with out having to worry about me. So I try so hard to show them I am OK, but it is exhausting.

Went 10 calories over my 200 limit today, so that just adds to my stress, I managed not to purge, even thought the urge was unbelievable. I feel so angry at myself for being so weak and going over my limit.