Funeral plans

Last night I spent ages writing my funeral plans, I wrote every thing, like what I wanted doing with all of my belongings, what music I want at my funeral etc. I feel so depressed, I really can't imagine being alive much longer, this is torture. I go to bed every night praying that I don't wake up the next morning. I am to much of a weak person to commit suicide, been there, tried that and failed, so I just have to hope something happens to me instead. I just hope it happens to me soon.