Well I have lost most of the weight I gained on my mammoth binge last week. I no it isn't a good thing, but it makes me feel a bit happier.
I have done nothing at all today, I took a sleeping tablet when I woke up this morning, that way I was able to sleep most of the day away. I no that is a bad habit that I have got into, but it seems like the lesser of two evils, at least when I am asleep I can't do damage to myself.
I have an appointment with my psychologist tomorrow, I am going to try and last longer than 10 mins after last weeks disastrous appointment, but the trouble is I am still not in the mood to talk. I think I have given up on therapy, at least for now.
About Me
- I love Bob Betty
- Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder,Depression and Anorexia,I am described as a 'chronic' self harmer.My pets are my life,why don't you get to know us :)
going is better than not going at all, my therapist says its better to sit in silence in the learning environment. she even said i could fall asleep as long as if i woke up i felt better! xxx
ReplyDeleteThanks Kiz, I guess it will get me out of the house if anything!x
ReplyDeleteWell, if you may not be especially up to talking with your therapist when you get to your therapist's office, maybe write some stuff out ahead of time, and share that. Or draw/paint, or make a video or audio recording, ... whatever works reasonably for you on helping getting it out/down, ... then take it with you, and you can share some and/or all of that when you're there. Could even write various bits of stuff on slips of paper or index cards or the like - and hand 'em to her - or at least those you feel you can, when you can. Hey, if you take a pack of a few hundred index cards with something written on every one, you might not need to have a conversation at all if you don't want - you could just keep handing her index cards, one at a time. ;-) Might sound slightly unorthodox, ... but not really ... when it's particularly hard to get it out or across or share it, sometimes various means - such as writing it down, will help.
ReplyDeleteA useful "game"/exercise I find to sometimes use in similar circumstances, is, what I tend to refer to as "20,000 questions". It's quite like 20 questions, ... except, well, no limit on the questions, and answers/responses aren't limited to yes/no (can say lots more - as much as one wants, don't *have* to say more ... don't even *have* to answer at all). But sometimes (mostly) just answering yes/no on questions is an easier way to get to/through something difficult or effectively manage to break the ice, etc. Of course works better/best if the answers are all quite truthful ... but can also opt to not answer, e.g. "I chose not to answer that", or "I don't want to answer that now", or "pass" or "skip" or whatever. If you're going to be there spending the time with the rather/quite qualified therapist - and even one who already knows you rather/quite well, something like 20,000 questions is likely to be more useful, helpful, productive, beneficial, and generally help you towards feeling better, etc., than, oh, playing Go Fish or Checkers. Therapist is there to help you, but generally speaking, you're the one in charge. So, anyway, and when the "talking" is especially hard to do, might want to mix it up a bit, and try some other approaches. E.g. you could walk in and tell your therapist something like, "Today we're playing 20,000 questions, here are the rules.", and hand her sheet describing the rules you've laid out, or maybe just walk in, hand her a card that says, "Don't feel like talking ... but I've got cards.", and when you feel like handing her another card - one you wrote out before, or within the session, hand her a card when you wish to do so, ... can also draw on the cards, or whatever you feel like doing. I dunno, maybe even combine approaches - she asks, you hand her a "response" card - either one you wrote or drew on earlier, or one you write/draw upon in the session in response. Really, almost anything - pick some way(s) you can find to use the session that may well help ... don't *have* to say or do anything, ... but likely to work better if you find *some* way(s) to interact. Could also tell therapist what you do/don't want to do or are unwilling to do in that session - and let her figure out how to work within that. E.g. you talk, she listens and says nothing, or you say nothing - or about that, and she asks/says ... whatever works and you're comfortable with. And you're allowed to change the "rules" at any point, as you see fit (e.g. lift or add restriction(s)).