Cat cuddling

I went cat cuddling at the cats home that I used to volunteer at, I love going there and stroking the cats, they love it and I find it really relaxing. It is a bit awkward as the people there no about my problems and they comment on things, I no they care but sometimes it is a bit awkward. When it was coffee time they were handing out chocolate biscuits, the lady handing them out passed them around and then when she got to me she made a big thing about of course you wont want one, we couldn't get you to eat one, etc. Instead of just simply offering me one and then moving on, it turned into this big embarrassing thing. But like I say I no they care and I think they feel awkward to.

My washing machine leaked water all over my kitchen floor earlier, I really hope it isn't broken as there is no way I can afford another one.

I have felt really anxious today about something that I did yesterday, I have been obsessing over it all day and have been getting myself all worked up about it. Yesterday evening I sent me psychologist an email saying how I felt about a few things, now I wish I hadn't as all I can think about is what she is going to think, is she going to be annoyed with me, is she going to hate me, I keep imagining her reading it over and over again and thinking about what she thinks. I have tried to put it out of my mind, but I can't. I wish I could take it back. It is one of them things where as soon as you press that send button you regret it. I just wanted her to understand me a bit more and now I can't take it back.

The crisis team are supporting me still over the weekend and are handing me back on Monday. I have to say, this time they have been brilliant, I have never really found them helpful at all before, if anything they used to make me more angry, but this time they have been so much help and support. I wish I could really thank them for there help.

Restricted to 146 calories today after my binge yesterday, I am still really disappointed in myself for binging yesterday, but I no all I can do is make up for it over the next few days.

I have been suffering from terrible hot sweats ever since starting on duloxetine about a year and a half ago, but recently they have been getting a lot worse, I can go from being normal to soaking with in minutes, I often have to change my PJ's in the middle of the night as they are so wet, it is gross, every time I have complained to the psychiatrist about it they always say "you have to weigh up the benefits with the negatives" which is all very well, but you don't spend the day walking around in wet clothes and have to change your PJ's in the middle of the night!