Personal information

Tomorrow I have got an appointment with my psychologist, I didn't got to my last one as I felt to upset after the appointment I had with my psychiatrist. I no that I need to go, but I feel really upset about going, when I was in my  appointment with my psychiatrist he said that he had read emails that had been written between me and my psychologist. This really got to me, I have always had terrible trust issues and am ultra wary of confidentiality, probably a bit to wary of it sometimes. When the psychiatrist said he had read these emails I felt devastated as I thought they were personal and going to be kept that way. Now I no they are in my file for all to see, I hate my file, I hate seeing it, knowing it is full of stuff about me. I get so paranoid about it that I have an agreement with my psychologist that she doesn't write anything during our sessions, as I used to get so worked up about it.

Now all I can think about is those emails, they were private, if I had of known they were going to be in that bloody file I would never have written them.

I hate all of this information being stored about me, I can see the file in my head and I can feel myself tensing up just thinking about it. I no it is important stuff, but I wish I could destroy it, I dream about ripping it up, burning it, anything to get rid of it.

I don't want anyone having all of this information on me. I want it gone.