Seeing the psychiatrist again tomorrow

Tomorrow I have got another appointment with the psychiatrist, I am hoping to find out a bit more where I stand with regards to going to an inpatient unit. I need to no what is happening and where I stand, I am in limbo at the moment. It is weird as I am not normally excited to see the psychiatrist, normally these appointments fill me with dread, but this time I am actually really excited. So hopefully tomorrow I will be able to give you an update that is actually an update, with out saying I don't no what is happening.

I have self harmed quite badly this evening, probably partly due to the build up to my appointment tomorrow, but also because my wanting to overdose has been so extreme, so cutting and cutting quite deeply was the only way I could get that urge under control. I do not want to overdose, I do not want to end up back in hospital, but it almost feels inevitable, I feel like I am just postponing it. I am going to be very honest with the psychiatrist about my new obsession, maybe I need an increase of my quetiapine or something.

Feeling quite in control eating wise, have been sticking to my under 200 calories, I love being in control.

So lets hope I have some interesting news for you all tomorrow.