Some of my friends invited me for a day out by the sea side today, anxiety got the better of me, also the fact that I am so lame.
The reasons I couldn't go:
~ I can only cope with me around people for an hour, maybe sometimes two hours, but then I need to be alone
~I wouldn't be able to have an afternoon nap
~I would have to talk to people, be smiley, jolly, show interest in things
~Food, they would want lunch, snacks, ice creams
~ I hate being away from Bob and Betty for more than a few hours, I get extremely anxious that something may happen to them or they will need me
~ I would look like a plank on a day out at the seaside with my cardigan on, but taking it off would not be an option due to my fucked up arms.
~I have no money, I have £1.75 to last me until Tuesday
~ I just can't be arsed
For fucks sake I am 26 years old, how lame am I?
About Me
- I love Bob Betty
- Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder,Depression and Anorexia,I am described as a 'chronic' self harmer.My pets are my life,why don't you get to know us :)
I believe you are very brave to share your thoughts and struggles like you do.
ReplyDeleteActually it is an excellent "therapy" to write about them, but not every person would be brave enough to do it on an "open to public" blog like you do.
Have you tried listening to some relaxing audios instead of trying to get an afternoon nap?
You can look for tips and tools online in other blogs, and being a blogger yourself that shouldn't be hard for you.
For instance, you could look at my blog at:
http://www.overcoming-panic-attacks-forever.com.
Controlling anxiety is a continuous fight, but every effort is worth it.
Hope to be of help to you and others.
Blessings!
Or, just to put a different "I'm not linking to my blog" stance on it, play to your strengths.
ReplyDeleteBy this I mean I get the feeling you have a habit of thinking things through a lot, which can be a way to increase anxiety (bloody works for me dammit). The thing is to stop, take a breath and analyse. If you think things through in this state then you can understand what you're doing and actually de-escalate things. I'm not saying it's always possible, definitely difficult when under pressure, but if you can pause and then reason away some of the issues then it may help. Just a thought.