What have I done wrong?

If you have read my last post you will be aware that I am having trouble with someone who feels I have manipulated the system, that I do not deserve compassion as the abuse I suffered as a child was not serious enough, along with other things. This really hurts. I do not understand where this person is getting this from, I have only ever mentioned that I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse and emotional abuse, I have never gone into any details of this and do not intend to, I have talked about the affect this has on my life today, but have never talked about what happened. So I do not understand where this person has got the information from that they have used to come to these conclusions.

I have not manipulated the system to get my flat, the system in itself would be extremely hard to manipulate even if I wanted to. I have been on the housing register for 4 years, waiting for my turn to be allocated somewhere. I Moved into my current flat which is a private rent 6 years ago, I worked hard to pay for my flat and loved being independent. I had a job which I loved and completely supported myself. I then became extremely unwell and could not cope with the 50 hours a week I was working, so cut down to 30 hours, I was determined to keep my job. I then became even more unwell and spent time in and out of hospital after a number of suicide attempts, I was then not allowed to stay in my flat as I was a danger to myself, so was made to live with my parents, my older brother moved into my flat and I took his bedroom at my parents.

Things continued to get worse and after another suicide attempt I was forced to tall my boss I needed time to get well again, she then sacked me. I was gutted to lose my job, that was the last thing I had to hold onto. I continued to stay with my parents and my brother stayed in my flat. My brother paid towards the rent and my parents made up the rest. My parents new if I lost my flat to, that then I really would have lost everything from when I was well. My family kept my flat for me and I am so grateful for that. I continued to live with my parents as well as spending time in and out of hospital for 4 months. During that time I started claiming incapacity benefits, I was to ill to do this, so it was done on my behalf.

After 4 months with my parents my boyfriend suggested that I should move back to my flat and he would move in with me to keep me safe. I needed to get out of my parents and being there was really hard for me, so I agreed and we moved back to my flat together. I still was only claiming incapacity benefits and at this point had never claimed housing benefits or any other benefits. Unfortunately after a few months living with my partner our relationship went down hill and we split up. This is when I started claiming housing benefits, but due to the fact I was under the age of 25 I was not eligible to full housing benefits, as up to the age of 25 you are able to claim the amount to cover a room in a shared house. My incapacity benefits did not come close to covering the amount I still needed to pay, let alone anything else. At the time I was seeing a mental health support worker who looked further into this on my behalf and found that there was something called the discretionary fund, she applied for me to be allocated some money from this to help pay my rent, which luckily I was. She then found a really lovely lady from our local Independent Living Centre who was a benefits advisor who said that she thought I should make a claim for DLA. By the time my DLA was awarded I had turned 25 and was then entitled to full housing benefits.

I continued living in my flat, then one day I discovered a rat, then another and so on. I have not just a few rats, but an infestation. I have the main nest under my kitchen floor boards and in my loft. That means when any one in my street lays rat poison, they come back to my flat to die. The smell when they do so is horrendous, the smell of decaying rats lasts weeks, then I get millions of flies. I have live rats in my flat, sometimes on a daily basis. Not only that my floor is collapsing, my flat is falling apart literally. I have tried to move out, but as I claim housing benefits I cannot find a landlord that is willing to take me, they all say no automatically to housing benefits. So I have been stuck here fighting to get repairs done and to get the rats sorted. Before Christmas I got an advocate to try and fight on my behalf to get repairs done. Environmental health have been involved, nobody wants to live her, but at the moment I do not have the choice to move out.

So can you imagine the excitement when I get a phone call out of the blue from the housing people saying they have got me a flat. I could not believe it, I had been on the register for 4 years and had given up hope that they would re home me. I have been so happy about the thought of getting out of this place and having a fresh start, but some person has decided that I do not deserve it and that I have manipulated the system. This hurts, I never chose for any of this to happen. I had never planned to be on benefits, I have done 3 different voluntary jobs since I have been off work when I have been feeling well enough to do so and when I went through a period of being really well I was looking at starting training through one of the voluntary jobs, but then I got sick again and could no longer go.

I should not have to justify myself, but I feel like I have no option but to do so. I have no idea why this person feels they have the right to judge whether I am worthy of being re homed, but I hope they could make a more informed opinion after reading this. I have blocked the person involved from my YouTube, but seeing as they seem so determined to put their feelings across I am sure they will just make another YouTube account or something.