I have had a horrible virus the last few days, I have felt rotten. Yesterday I tried to go on the computer for a bit, but latest 5 mins, then I couldn't focus on the screen as my eyes were all wobbly, it is only then that you realise how much you use the computer.
I have my assessment tomorrow to see if I am suitable to move into the flat being offered. It actually hurts with excitement, I feel like a 5 year old on Christmas eve, every minute feels like an hour. I have to impress tomorrow, as long as I get through the home assessment the flat will be mine. I cannot bare the waiting, I know I have a roof over my head and should be grateful, but I have lived in this dump for nearly 6 years, I am not exaggerating when I say it is falling apart, the floor is collapsing, there is a huge crack going all up the wall in my bedroom and it has started to spread along the ceiling. Obviously you have heard about the rats, so I don't need to go on about that. My flat shakes when buses and lorries go past and considering I live on a main road, it shakes almost constantly, this is probably the cause of the crack. I have neighbours from hell, every Friday and Saturday night they have parties, get drunk and then fight. I have had to go down and ask them to be quiet so many times, also I have had to call the police. I have been told now that it is to dangerous for me to go down myself at 12:30 at night, so I have been told to call the police every time from now on. I just want to mind my own business and go to sleep, not get involved in all of this stress.
I have lost 3 pounds over the last few days from being ill. The problem is that is very triggering. Now all I can think is that I could turn that into 4 pounds, then 5 pounds and before you know it I am going to be in trouble again. I cannot afford to be going backwards at the moment, going forwards is the only option. I had this sudden moment of realisation the other day, I went to buy some new jeans and the only ones that fitted were from the childrens section, they were for 12 year olds. I am 26 years old, I am wearing jeans for a prepubescent child and that is after gaining 11 pounds over the last few months. Maybe people are right, maybe I am not quite as fat I think I am, I am only saying maybe mind.
Any ways, thank you to everyone who has wished me luck for tomorrow, keep your fingers crossed for me.
Hey I could always slip the lady who is coming to asses me £10 if things aren't going well :P
About Me
- I love Bob Betty
- Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder,Depression and Anorexia,I am described as a 'chronic' self harmer.My pets are my life,why don't you get to know us :)
Sorry to hear about the virus thingy - hope that's better soon. In the meantime, rest, and eat well and appropriately ... plenty of fluids - but not too light or diet, nor too heavy, ... e.g. go for fruit juices, typical soups, etc. Rest up and be better soon - and give your body what it needs (e.g. appropriate fluids & food) to help fuel fighting off the virus.
ReplyDeleteThink too of getting to more *healthy* weight/BMI ... more healthy body gets cold/flu/viruses less often and chases them away faster.
In any case, hope you're better - and feeling better - soon.