I met with Maria

I met up with my friend Maria for an hour this morning, I haven't seen her for months, she is a great person, she isn't my usual type of friend, she is in her forties, has five children, a husband and is an ex police officer. I met her when her first child attended the nursery I was working at when I was nineteen, when I left the nursery we kept in contact and when I was a nanny we used to meet up for days out with the children. When I got too ill to work she was amazing, she has been through similar things and she 'got' me, she would listen to me cry and not judge me, she was brilliant. We have met up every few months ever since. I could spend hours in her company, as she understands that sometimes I all I need is a hug, or to sit in silence. But at the same time she has a really busy life bringing up her lovely children, so I no I can't rely on her to much.

I haven't felt quite as low today, which is a welcome relief. I just hope it can last to give me a break.

Still sticking to my calorie allowance, I no I need to get on top of this, but at the moment I haven't got the energy to fight it. I feel a little scared if I am honest, because I no it is really consuming me at the moment, but I will sort it, I promise. I will NOT let it go too far.