I am seriously fucked up, what the hell is wrong with me? I am all over the place, I decided last night I wasn't going to go to ballet today, in fact I decided I wasn't going to get out of bed today as I spent most of the day yesterday in hospital, I went there to get stitches and then they wanted me to stay as they were concerned about my behaviour. I woke up this morning all full of life again, so found myself up dressed and on the bus heading to Bath city 2 hours early for ballet. I wondered around wasting time for ages then walked up to ballet, I stayed at ballet for 5 mins, then burst into tears and walked out, I sat in the changing rooms for about 15 mins, threw up and then got changed and came home and slept all afternoon.
I feel racing and happy one minute, then deeply depressed and suicidal the next. I have just had a bath, I spent over an hour in it, the water was cold when I got out, although I don't really remember what I did or what I was thinking about for that hour, it is just a blank.
I am going to go back to bed now, I don't really no what else to do with myself.
About Me
- I love Bob Betty
- Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder,Depression and Anorexia,I am described as a 'chronic' self harmer.My pets are my life,why don't you get to know us :)
Sorry you're struggling :-( Here if you need me. Hope you're ok xxx
ReplyDeleteHey Amy,we're so sorry to hear how rough things are going, we're sending support and e-hugs your way!
ReplyDeleteIt's great that you also got the stitches when you needed them, it's not always easy to go to A&E even if you need to.
Take care of yourself :)
Amy....I sort of know what you mean....feeling all over etc.....Im worried about you please take care.....when do you start the lithium....please please please take care hun....i was really worried when i'd not heard from you for a day or so.....it makes me realise how much you mean to me...I was thinking of all sorts (not nice things either)...because i know what its like when you go from low to high quickly and without any clear definition......its shit....and i also know the self harm is worse....wehn high...you dont feel a thing....well for me personally its worse when im high i cut deeper etc BUT i dont want you to go thru this....please know you are not alone....Im always at the end of the phone....ring me or text me anytime
ReplyDeleteI love you to much to lose you to this bastard of an 'illness'....just be careful and take care x x x x
If only there was a button to press that could make you feel better.Young girls like you should not be going through this crap. just wish there was something I could do. Really sorry for you and hope you feel better soon
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