I have no voice

I have had a flu type virus the last few days, I feel rotten to be honest,  have completely lost my voice, my throat is so sore, my ears hurt, my head hurts, my chest hurts where I have been coughing so much. Basically I feel like shit, what a great way to start the year.

I think when you are so malnourished your body doesn't have the energy and stocks to fight off these kind of things, but it will have to burn itself out eventually. In the mean time I have been spending more time asleep than awake, partly due to being exhausted and partly as when I am asleep I don't have to feel the pain of swallowing.

My Dad keeps saying the reason I feel so dizzy is because I haven't eaten enough sugary things to give my body a chance to fight it, so has been trying so hard to supply me with a endless supply of sugar. Almost hourly I get the question "why don't you try a little bit of fudge" or "maybe one of these nice chocolates", but he is always met with the same answer from me, NO.

My attempts to give recovery another go are not really going well, I haven't yet managed over 150 calories with out purging. Hmm, maybe trying recovery was a stupid idea.