Appointment with my psychologist

I had my weekly appointment with my psychologist, we talked through so many memories that I haven't ever discussed with any one, they just kept pouring out of me, I cried so much, I hate crying.

I think I almost felt like I was grieving, grieving for a little girl, but that little girl was me. I think this is a process that I really needed to do and probably need to do more. I never had the childhood I deserved and I think I am finally starting to realise that fact.

I wish I could go back in time and have a different childhood, I wish I could change my teenage years and most of all I wish I could take back some of the things I put myself through in my early twenties. I have been abused, but worst of all I have abused my own body, almost beyond recognition. But I cannot change any of these things, I can only accept them and accept it wasn't my fault.

I am grieving for myself.